Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Not to be preachy and hypocritical, but SoT submits this expose as proof that our nation is toes over a precipice. Yet, contrary to the banal-cliche-loving media and faculty lounge crowd, 'this tough economy' is not at the root of our evils. Subprime mortgages and the federal deficit are not the problem. Nor are gay marriages, universal healthcare proposals and Congressional green energy iniatives responsible for our downfall (Taxpayer-financed Argentinian homewreckers are -- j/k).
But let's geat real. Society's ills can be traced to one thing: Sloth.
Or, more bluntly, an invitation to Satan. The party's 'RSVP regrets only' and he ain't calling. Inertia is an aphrodisiac to the Prince of Darkness.
Stop sitting on your hands. Or else:
Monday, May 4, 2009
"Hello? . . . Yes, hi, I'm calling to cancel my subscription . . . Yes, well, I've already stacked a number of old ones on top of each other to use as a video game chair and I really don't need any more . . . What's that? . . . Oh, I understand it's nice to have a hardcopy to hold in my hands . . . Of course I understand newspapers have been the number one news source for the past three centuries . . . I'm sorry, but don't YOU think they've run their course? . . . Yes, well, someone probably should have thought about that before they made all the same content available for free online . . . Look, I understand every cancelled subscription means fewer advertising dollars for you, but that's really not my fault. I simply can't justify wasting hundreds of pounds of paper each year just to glance at the first few front-page headlines so I can pretend to keep up on current events . . . I-- . . . I -- . . . I understand that, but -- . . . Wait, are you kidding me? Did anyone in the newspaper industry even notice the internet, let alone work to adapt to the information revolution? . . . Boxscores? Boxscores! I'm sorry, but do you own a computer? MLB.com updates their boxscores in real-time! . . . Listen, I can't continue this conversation. I understand the newspaper industry is dying, but it's their own damn fault. I'm canceling my subscription . . . Sure, I'll hold."
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
The entire Pokeworld and you're lounging here, blocking all of Cycle Road? Do you even realize there is an empty field behind you? And what about that forest FOUR FEET in front of your fat face? Unless you think your stupid purple fur will get a tan, you'd be a whole lot better off under one of those shady, perfectly arranged trees.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Freshly killed bear-skin rugs are both romantic and manly.
Vroom-Vrooooom! A buck or an imaginary Harley?
Whenever a devilish beast terrorizes a village, courageous men will rise to the challenge and risk their lives for the good of the community -- think Kilmer and Douglass in The Ghost and the Darkness and Scheider, Shaw and Dreyfuss in Jaws. After the soulless dining room chair pictured above spent months instigating rifts between friends, generating extreme intoxication among teenagers and generally terrorizing Ashford Street, five grizzled sportsmen answered the call to protect their friends and family.